The X-Files Quotables


Mulder: They're here, aren't they.
Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, they've been here for a long long time.

Colton: So Mulder, what do you think? Does this look like the work of little green men?
Mulder: Grey.
Colton: Excuse me?
Mulder: Grey. You said green men. A Reticulan's skin tone is actually grey. They're notorious for their extraction of human terrestrial livers. Due to the iron depletion in the Reticulum galaxy.
Colton: You can't be serious.
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for on Reticulum?

Scully: Oh my God, Mulder. It smells like... I think it's bile.
Mulder: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Scully: You lied. You have seen it before, I can tell. You lied to them.
Mulder: I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.

Scully: I think Howard Graves fabricated his own death.
Mulder: Do you know how difficult it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off. Elvis.

Scully: I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court.
Mulder: That's one of the luxuries to hunting down aliens and genetic mutants. You rarely get to press charges.

Scully: Mulder, I know what you did wasn't by the book.
Mulder: Tells you a lot about the book, doesn't it?

Mulder: Called every waystation and bureau office west of Colorado. Tied up an airphone for three hours. I don't speak Japanese but I think some businessmen told me to stick a piece of sushi where the sun don't shine.

Deep Throat: You're awfully quiet, Mr. Mulder.
Mulder: I'm wondering which lie to believe.

Ish: Go home, FBI.
Mulder: How'd you know?
Ish: I could smell you a mile away.
Mulder: Well they told me that even though my deodorant's made for a woman it's strong enough for a man.

Ish: You even have an Indian name. "Fox." You should be Running Fox. Or Stinky Fox.
Mulder: Just as long as it's not Spooky Fox.

Scully: Mulder, I just want to say that I was wrong.
Mulder: That's all right. Don't worry about it.
Scully: No. If you had listened to me we wouldn't be here right now. I should know by now to trust your instincts.
Mulder: Why? Nobody else does.

Mulder: We wanted to believe. We wanted to call out. On August 20 and September 5, 1977, two spacecraft were launched from the Kennedy Space Flight Center Florida. They were called Voyager. Each one carries a message. A gold-plated record projecting images, music and sounds of our planet. Arranged so that it may be understood if ever intercepted by a technologically-mature extraterrestrial civilization. Thirteen years after its launch, Voyager One passed the orbital plane of Neptune and essentially left our solar system. Within that time, there were no further messages sent. Nor are any planned.

Mulder: We wanted to listen. On October 12, 1992, NASA initiated the high resolution microwave survey. A decade-long search by radio telescope scanning ten million frequencies for any transmission by extraterrestrial intelligence. Less than one year later, first term Nevada senator Richard Bryan successfully championed an amendment which terminated the project.

Mulder: I wanted to believe. But the tools had been taken away. The X-Files had been shut down. They closed our eyes. Our voices have been silenced. Our ears now deaf to the realms of extreme possibilities.

Mulder: He's dead, Scully. I attended his funeral at Arlington through eight power binoculars from a thousand yards away.

Mulder: Deep Throat said Trust No One. It's hard, Scully. Suspecting everyone, everything. It wears you down. You even begin to doubt what you know is the truth. Before, I could only trust myself. Now I can only trust you.

Scully: Is this seat taken?
Mulder: No. But I should warn you, I'm experiencing violent impulses.
Scully: Well I'm armed, so I'll take my chances.


Mulder: You know they say three species disappear off the planet every day. You wonder how many new ones are being created.

Mulder: Have you ever come across this chemical compound?
Langly: LSDM. Obviously you haven't read our August edition of TLG.
Mulder: Oh, I'm sorry boys. It arrived the same day as my subscription to Celebrity Skin.

Mr. Nutt: ...it's human nature to make instaneous judgments of others based solely on their physical apperances? Why I have done the same thing to you, for example. I have taken in your All-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design and concluded that you work for the government. An FBI agent. But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature. Instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
Mulder: But I am an FBI agent.

Mulder: Do you know where she is?
Scully: In a mental institution.
Mulder: I'd go with you, but I'm afraid they'd lock me up.

Scully: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Mulder: Will you stop that? Stop that.
Scully: It couldn't hurt.
Skinner: Scully? Mulder?
Mulder: I was drugged!

Scully: Mulder, it looks like they were shot to death. You know what's weird?
Mulder: What?
Scully: Mulder, she's wearing my outfit.
Mulder: How embarrassing.
Scully: Yeah, well you know what? He's wearing yours.

Maurice (Ed Asner): You drink?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Take drugs?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Get high?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Are you overcome by the impulse to make everyone believe you? Silence.

Lyda revealing her fatal wound: I don't show my hole to just anyone.
Mulder disturbed: Why are you showing it to me?

Mulder: Wow. Admit it, all you want to do is play house. Woman! Get back in here and make me a sandwich! Scully throws a rubber glove at him. Did I not make myself clear?

Scully: Extraterrestrial visitors from beyond who, apparently, have nothing better to do than buzz one mountain over and over again for 700 years.
Mulder: Sounds like crap when you say it.

Cigarette Smoking Man: Life or death. Your account is squared. With me, with God, with the IRS, with the FBI. Rise out of your bed and come with me.
Mulder: I'm dying, you idiot. If I could get up I'd kick your ass.

Scully: Mulder, you been spreading rumors?
Mulder: Why? Hear any good ones lately?

Scully: Mulder, these people—even when they were alive—mangled biblical prophecy to the extent that it's unrecognizable. The year 2000 is just their artificial deadline. And besides, 2001 is actually the start of the new millennium.
Mulder: Nobody likes a math geek, Scully.

Scully: You alright Mulder?
Mulder: Yeah, it's okay. My ass broke the fall.

Mulder: Luck is the over-reaching force in this investigation. I say we roll with it. He blindly stabs at a spot on the Yellow Pages—an Islamic Day Care. Let's call that a dry run.
Scully: Yeah.

Scully: As far as I can tell, this body has been dead for over a month. I see signs of refrigeration.
Mulder: And yet he performed yesterday. What a trooper.


Scully: You're personalizing this case. You're identifying with your sister.
Mulder: My sister was taken by aliens. Did I say anything about aliens, Scully?

Mulder: You don't know how badly I wanted her to be in one of those graves. As hard as it is to admit, I wanted to find her here riding her bike like all these other kids. I guess I just want it to be over.

Scully: Oh yay. A seance. I haven't done that since high school.
Mulder: Maybe afterwards we can play Postman and Spin the Bottle.

Mulder: You know I never stopped to think. The light is billions of years old by the time we see it. The beginning of time, right past us into the future. Nothing is ancient in the universe. Maybe they are souls, Scully. Travelling through time and star light. Looking for homes. I wonder what my mother saw. I wonder what she was trying to tell me. .


Scully: Mulder, have you noticed that we're on television?
Mulder: I don't think it's live television, Scully. She just said *bleep*.

Skinner: Agent Mulder, Mr. Federman will accompany you today to Christ's Church where he will act as an observer on this case. You will extend to him every courtesy and protection you would a friend of mine and a friend of the Bureau's. Agent Scully, I require your services here for the morning.
Mulder: Sir, have I pissed you off in a way that's more than normal?

Mulder about the invisible body: I think you missed a spot here. I can see straight through to his ass.

Mulder: [upon seeing the Cigarette Smoking Man in a hospital] Please tell me you're here with severe chest pains.

Deep Throat: And a lie, Mr. Mulder, is most convincingly hidden between two truths.

Mulder: I've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask.

Scully: Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!

Mulder: I guess their parachutes didn't open.

Mulder: We've both lost so much... but I believe that what we're looking for is in the X-Files. I'm more certain than ever that the truth is in there.

Scully: I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.

Mulder: The truth will save you, Scully. I think it'll save both of us.

Mulder: Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in five billion.

Mulder: Scully, I was like you once. I didn't know who to trust. Then I... I chose another path... another life, another fate, where I found my sister. The end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down. There was one thing that remained the same. You were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant. My touchstone.

Scully: And you are mine.

Scully: I just came up with a pretty sick theory Mulder.
Mulder: Oooh, I'm listening!

Scully: It's a north American P-51 Mustang.
Navy Investigator: Yeah, it sure is.
Mulder: I just got very turned on. (!!!)

Mulder: At least they were having safe sex.
Scully: Business must be booming.
Mulder: I think you mean 'banging'.

Scully: We eat fish and fish eat us.
Mulder: Are fish also known for eating half and saving half for
later?

Mulder: We were just exhuming,....your potato.

Jose: ...for although we may not be alone in the universe, in
our own separate ways, on THIS planet, we are all ...
alone.

Mulder: (to Boggs on Scully's disappearance).. Elvis in three
states every day.. and yet no one saw a pretty woman
being forced off the road in a rental car?

Mulder: (by Scully's bedside in hospital where she is lying
unconscious) I don't know if me being here will help
bring you back, but I'm here.

Scully: Must be nice not having someone questioning your every
move ... poking holes in all your theorys ...
Mulder: [joking] Oh yeah, it's great, I'm surprised I put up
with you for so long!

Mulder: I think with a crowbar and a small nuclear device we
might be able to get through one of these things.

Scully: (after Mulder's explained something weird) That's spooky!
Mulder: That's my name, isn't it?

Scully: So now we're chasing ghosts?
Mulder: Who ya gonna call?

(Mulder's watching a video tape)
Scully: It's not your usual brand of entertainment... What is
it?
Mulder: According to the magazine ad I answered, it's an alien
autopsy. Guaranteed authentic."
Scully: You spent money for this???
Mulder: 29.95 plus shipping!

Scully: The tread looks like a standard military boot.
Men's... size 8 & a half.
Mulder: 8 & a half! That's pretty impressive, Scully!
Scully: Well, it says it right here on the bottom.
Mulder: oh.

Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people
who'd caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year Scully, didn't I?


Mulder: Is there a history of genetic abnormalities in
your family?
Scully: No.
Mulder: Well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic
makeup and a really high tolerance for being second
guessed and start pumping out the little Uberscullies.
Scully: What about your family?
Mulder: "Hmm? (Scully nods) Well, (he smiles) aside for the
need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be
abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an
International governmental conspiracy, the Mulder
family passes genetic muster.

Mulder: "I'll leave the window rolled down. If I'm not back in
a week, I'll call Agent Scully to come and bring you a
bowl of water.

Mulder: (to woman who had tailed baby) When you were admitted
you said that the baby's father was from another
planet. What did you mean by that exactly?
Amanda: You know, that he's not from this planet.... His name
is Luke Skywalker; he's what's known as a Jedi knight.
Scully: Did he have a light saber?

Mulder: Why is it so hard to believe? When the accepted
discovery of life off this planet is on the front page
of every newspaper around the world? When even the
most conservative scientists and science journals are
calling for the exploration of Mars and Jupiter, with
every reason to believe that life and the persistence
of it is thriving outside our own terrestrial sphere.
If you cannot get past this, then I suggest that this
whole committee be held in contempt for ignoring
evidence that cannot be refuted.

Mulder: Do you believe in the existence of extra terrestrials?
Scully: Logically, I'd have to say no. Given the distances
needed to travel from the far reaches of space the
energy requirement would exceed a space craft's
capabilities...
Mulder: Conventional wisdom, though when convention, and
science offer us no answer might we not finally turn
to the fantastic as a plausibility?
Scully: What I find fantastic is the notion that there are
answers beyond the realm of science. The answers are
there, you just have to know where to look.
Mulder: (sarcastically) That's why they put the 'I' in FBI!

Mulder: You know, I always wanted a peg-leg. It was a boyhood
thing I never grew out of.

(Mulder's opening monologue)
Mulder: We wanted to listen... I wanted to believe, but the
tools had been taken away. The X-Files had been shut
down. They closed our eyes. Our voices have been
silenced. Our ears now deaf to the realms of extreme
possibilities.

Mulder: Modell psyched the guy out. He put the whammy on him.
Scully: Please explain to me the scientific nature of the
'whammy'.

Scully: You're so consumed by your personal vengeance
against life whether it be its inherent cruelties or
mysteries that everything takes on a... a warped
significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology.
Mulder: Scully, are you coming on to me?

Scully: Time just can't disappear. It's a universal invariant!"

Scully: Agent Mulder believes we are not alone.

Scully: Mulder, why would alien beings travel light-years to Earth in order to play 'doctor' on cattle?

Scully: Mulder, the truth is out there. But so are the lies.

Scully: Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine.

Scully: What do you MEAN you want me to do another autopsy?! And why do I have to do it right now?! I just spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy, all for you. I do it all for you, Mulder. You know, I haven`t eaten since 6:00 this morning, and all that was, was a half a cream cheese bagel, and it wasn`t even real cream cheese, it was light cream cheese. And now you want me to run off and do another autopsy? (pause) What the hell happened to you?

Mulder: One girl was abducted
Scully : Kidnapped.
Mulder: Potato, potahto.

Mulder: Looks like I'm going to have to tell Skinner that the suspect is a giant bloodsucking worm after all.

Mulder: *climbing a tree* Scully, does this demonstration of boyish ability turn you on?

Mulder: You're afraid to tell the truth! Afraid you'll look like an idiot? Like me?

Mulder: Here's a tip. Aluminum foil makes a lovely hat and keeps the government's mind control rays out.

Mulder: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

Mulder: Scully, would you think less of me as a man if I told you I was kind of excited right now?

Mulder: You didn't rent a convertible, did you?
Scully: Yeah, why?
Mulder: Are you aware of the statistics of decapitation?

Scully: Is there anything in occult literature about an object that can talk and move? Like, a doll for instance?
Mulder: Like Chuckie?
Scully: Kinda like that, yeah.
Mulder: Yeah......You didn't find a talking doll did you?
Scully: No, of course not...
Mulder: Because if you did, i would suggest checking the back for some sort of plastic ring with a strong on it...

Mulder: The best way to save heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone else who's already naked.
Scully: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.

Scully: Any thoughts on why people might be growing corn in the middle of the desert?
Mulder: These (the white domes) could be giant jiffy pop poppers.

Mulder: Hey Scully, do you think it's too soon for me to get my own 1-900 number?

Mulder: Did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?