Dog With Two Bones
January 31, 2002 - UK
April 26, 2002 - US
Writer - David Kemper
Director -Andrew Prowse
Melissa Jaffer . . . Old Woman
Tammy MacIntosh . . . Jool
Kent McCord . . . Jack Crichton
Jacob Vanderpuije . . . FirstBoy
Dion Bilios . . . SecondBoy
The episode opens in John's Head. The scene is a high-end bridal shop overdone in virginal white. White walls, floors and furniture. White flowers in white plaster vases. White satiny dresses displayed on manikins. A gilt chandelier with white lampshades hangs over a white runway arched over with white faux trellises. John - dressed in black and looking anything but virginal in his Ray-Bans and leather jacket, watches as Aeryn comes down the runway tricked out in a tight-fitting white gown with halter straps and double front slits that reach to the upper thigh. She's holding the troublesome front panel out of the way of her legs. Sweet - in not a word that would describe this dress. Men of course tend to like those dresses with fronts slit to the crotch and John raises his shades for a better look as she stops, quickly drops the front panel of the dress and tries to smooth it into place.
Aeryn: It doesn't work. (she turns to head back for the fitting room)
John: Oohh yes it does. (he jumps up and pursues her down the runway) Just not for the wedding. (Aeryn laughs and yelps a little as John grabs her around the waist and they disappear behind the curtains at the top of the runway. The saleslady sprints after them to eject loverboy)
Time passes and John waits in the bridal shop while Aeryn fits on every dress in the place. He's taken to laying on his back on the little white bench at the end of the runway, arms dangling limply towards the floor, staring at the ceiling - or snoozing. Aeryn approaches him. This time she has on a simple white strapless sheath whose bodice is trimmed with just a hint of frill. Sweet. Sexy and feminine.
Aeryn: John? (it takes him a moment to come out of his bridal parlor-induced stupor, but when he does he rises quickly to take in the sight of her for a moment. Time jumps ahead a few moments and he's standing on the runway behind her. He takes her hands and raises them so they stand there with their joined hands outstretched in a dancers pose as he murmurs)
John: You wear this and somebody's gonna marry you. (she makes no response but to smile demurely)
(cut to reality. John is sitting in Moya's center chamber daydreaming while he scribbles the arcane mathematical symbols of wormhole equations on his skin and in a notebook- and listens to Chiana talk)
Chiana: (coaxing) Come on Crichton - I've been to a few different places. Your world can't be that hard to adjust to. (softly, as if reminding him) You still have to ask her.
John: (sulky) Doesn't work that way. (at that moment they're interrupted by a clatter of pots and pans at the nearby stove. They both look over at the person standing there cooking and eavesdropping. She's an elderly woman with an unkempt mass of long grey hair. She's slender and has kept a nice figure but her leathery face is deeply lined with wrinkles that look as if they're collecting a good bit of dirt. She has big thick ears from which dangle chunky earrings and closer inspection of a big unhealthy-looking lump on her forehead reveals it to be a closed third eye. She speaks quickly and with a light, polished British accent)
OldWoman: (brightly) Might I interject? (silence) Would you like some yirgral fungal chowder? (John ignores her, having gone back to his equations and Chiana rolls her eyes up and rests her head against the wall - making her desire to not socialize in any way with the grubby crone quite clear. The old woman finishes self-consciously ) Oh well. Perhaps Aeryn wouldn't have liked your planet anyway.
(the scene returns to the bridal shop in John's Head. The saleslady has bagged Aeryn’s chosen dress and is ringing up the purchase. Aeryn's changed into Earth style street clothes - slacks and a conservative camel jacket. She and John stand are standing and little ways away from the cash register)
John: (in a low, encouraging tone) Okay. Big moment. You're up. (Aeryn shakes her head girlishly and goes “Uhm-mm.” But John holds up his credit card and gently insists) Come on. (she relents and taking the card, she turns to the saleslady and says with confidence)
Aeryn: Ftharge It. (the clerks smile fades a bit and she doesn't move. Aeryn looks anxiously to John for help and he quickly offers Aeryn some phonetic coaching)
John: Ch- Again - ch!
Aeryn: (to the clerk) Sarch It.
SalesLady: (with a ditzy smile, to John) Where's she from? Like - Bosnia? (John takes the credit card from Aeryn’s hand and holds it out to the clerk with an air of annoyance)
John: Charge it. (the vacuous clerks eyes widen as she grasps what it is these people standing here and holding out a credit card to her after picking out a dress want - and she scuttles off with the plastic) Thank you.
Aeryn: (quietly upset to John) I told you!
John: (reassuringly) No - look that was good. She almost understood what you said.
Aeryn: That was completely embarrassing!
John: (soothingly) Baby look - English is a very difficult language. Half the time people don't understand what I'm talking about. You're doing great.
Aeryn: (agitated - as John pleads with her, trying to calm her by murmuring pet names to her as she rants) No I'm not! Nobody here understands what I'm saying! This whole frelling planet needs translator microbes! (her day ruined - she flounces away and sits down to wait while he finishes paying)
(cut back to reality in Moya's center chamber where John mopes with his math while Chiana leans against the wall and challenges the annoying old lady who seems to have taken up residence in their kitchen)
Chiana: Hey old woman - why didn't you leave with the others?
OldWoman: (flapping her hands coyly) Because I knew the soufflé would charm you!
Chiana: (irritated) Chowder - you said it was chowder.
OldWoman: (gleefully demented) I can - make you - a chowder! (she bustles off to gather ingredients)
John: (under his breath) Pi-ip? Who is that woman?
Chiana: I thought she was with you. (she pauses and then directs his attention to the view outside the chambers portals) Look at this. (outside - space glows golden with nebular dust and a sleek, familiar shape glides nearby. John hails Pilot as Chiana runs to the windows for a closer look)
John: Pilot? I'm seeing another Leviathan.
Pilot: We have arrived at the Leviathan burial place.
(cut to the hangar bay where Rygel is watching while D'Argo loads his small ship with all the supplies it can carry as Aeryn enters)
Aeryn: D'Argo - how much are you taking?
D'Argo: Macton's posting's a long way away.(Aeryn picks up the end of a crate and helps him move it) Thanks.
Aeryn: You could resupply during the journey.
D'Argo: Well revenge is a feast best served immediately.
Aeryn: (quietly) You're gonna get yourself killed.
Rygel: We all are. At least we'll do it on our home planets! (Aeryn and D'Argo make no response. But they stop to look at a few bits of blasted debris laying nearby on the hangar floor)
D'Argo: I'm surprised that Crais sacrificed himself.
Aeryn: Talyn was such a fine ship. Can't believe this is all that's left of him.
(cut back to Chiana and John in the center chamber. Chiana seems suddenly subdued)
Chiana: So what're you gonna to do after we bury Talyn?
John: Same thing I'm doing now. Work on wormhole theory. (at that moment Chiana yells with terror as the real world recedes for her. She staggers backwards, knocking a few utensils off the kitchen counter. John looks up and asks casually - they're all used to this now) Vision?
Chiana: (shaking her head as if to clear it) D-d-d-darkness. M-mm-m-moya's s-s-swallowed. (the others may be used to Chiana’s premonitions but they've also learned to take them seriously)
John: Pilot? Is everything okay?
Pilot: (cut to him in his Den as he cries) No Commander! Brace for collision everybody! BRACE FOR COLLISION! (and they watch as outside the center chamber windows, the other Leviathan comes about and begins to head right for them)
John: Pilot-! (the other Leviathan rockets just past the center chamber windows - somewhere on Moya Jool shrieks as Moya yaws in an attempt to avoid the other ship)
OldWoman: Oh! Praise the spirit! I'm never gonna finish this recipe.. (and with that the other Leviathan broadsides Moya, sending the crew and the old woman flying along with anything else that isn't nailed down) .
The damage to Moya is severe as the scene shifts to shortly later. Most of her lights are out and the crew has dispersed to various parts of the ship to survey the damage. Chiana and Jool are with Pilot in his Den, D'Argo and Aeryn are out and about - they all need flashlights to guide them. On the Command though enough dim golden light from the nebula filters in through the main viewport to provide John with light in the forward part of the room. Rygel and the old woman are with him but they hang to the rear of the Command, spooked by the ominous view of the rogue Leviathan floating just outside and facing Moya from much too close a distance. The scene shifts between the Den and the Command as they all speak via comm.
John: (as he lifts the mother board out of one of the Command consoles and thunks it down none too gently on a table. He sounds annoyed) Total crap! Completely dead! Pilot - how long?
Pilot: (cut to him in his Den as he speaks, he looks stunned) Soon. Moya is rallying herself to recovery.
Jool: That lunatic Leviathan's still out there.
Rygel: Hasn't moved. Just staring us down. (as he stares back at the other ship - D'Argo and Aeryn enter the Command)
D'Argo: Central pumping mechanism is a total loss. Tier 3 is under water.
Aeryn: Conduit bulkhead breach. A Janz-2 torpedo could not have done it better.
Chiana: That crazy tralk really knew where to hit us didn't she? (on the Command the old woman is shining her flashlight right in Rygel’s face and peering at him like he's some sort of specimen. For once the Hynerian seems at a loss for words to deal with the old weirdo)
Pilot: (with a note of outrage in his tone) Moya's nerval partex is impossible to target so successfully - (while Pilot talks, on the Command John is suddenly riveted by the sight of Aeryn and he stands there. lost in thought, staring at her as she works) - unless by another Leviathan. (Aeryn seems to feel someone’s gaze upon her and looks up, staring back at John)
Rygel: Pilot - what the yotz brought this on?
Pilot: I still haven't made contact with the other Pilot - however it appears to have something to do with Talyn. (John's gaze remains steady but Aeryn looks back to her work)
Rygel: (disgusted) Oh - Talyn again? I told you we should have dumped his debris. We wouldn't even be here! (Aeryn looks up at him and snaps-)
Aeryn: Without Talyn you wouldn't be here so show some respect.
Rygel: Respect?! My tiny, shiny, heinie! It's gonna get us killed! (and having worked up some outrage - he points at the old woman with his little flashlight and demands) And who the frell is this?
(Rygel’s calling attention to the old woman seems to trigger another fantasy excursion for John and the scene shifts to John's Head. He and Aeryn are at their wedding reception. She's wearing the pretty white dress they bought and has a white orchid in her dark hair. She's standing with her back to a group of women, her bridal bouquet in hand and a big smile on her face)
Aeryn: 1... 2... 3! (she tosses the bouquet over her head and the obligatory scramble to catch it commences. With a lunge and a shriek - Jool - who of course wouldn't give a toss about that rule concerning redheads and pink and so is wearing a rose-colored silk duponi skirt and jacket - catches it and rolls onto the floor where she triumphantly raises it amid merry clapping and laughter)
(cut back to reality - where John has missed part of the conversation and just picks up the last bit of a plan Aeryn is outlining)
Aeryn: ...and reroute Moya's systems to help in the recovery process. Does everyone know what to do?
Jool: (from Pilots Den) Yeah.
Oh but Crichton's got the wedding bell blues and the scene slips back into John's Head. Another sort-of time-honored wedding ritual is in progress. A crowd of whooping men watch as he removes the garter from Aeryn’s leg, sliding it slowly past her knee, down her calf and over her slingback shoe which rests on his knee. He stands and tosses it over his shoulder - presumably to the guys - but it overshoots them and flies into Rygel’s face and gets hooked over one of his earbrows. He's dressed like a foreign dignitary in a black suit with a red cloak and is sitting in front of the wedding cake with a large fork clutched in one stubby hand. He seems as unfamiliar with this ritual as we are. Meanwhile John sweeps his bride into his arms and they kiss. The scene abruptly lurches back to reality with an annoyed admonition from the next guy to get married -
Rygel: Pay attention! (he wags his flashlight at John) This is serious!
John: (stammering as he looks at Aeryn who stares icily back) Nu-uh - yeah - It's a good plan. (Aeryn snaps her gaze away and marches out. John turns away too - and finds himself caught in the beam of the old woman’s flashlight. He puts his hand up to shield his eyes and walks around her as she silently watches him go)
The scene returns to John's Head. The reception is over and the gracious bride and groom stand saying good-bye to their guests as they slowly drift out. John shakes the men’s hands and everyone kisses the cheek of the lovely bride as congratulations are offered.
Aeryn: (beaming at her well-wishers) Thank you. Thank you very much.
John: Thank you.
Aeryn: Thank you.
John: (whispering in her ear as one giddy young woman detaches herself from them) That's my cousin Susan. (at that moment - D'Argo approaches. He's wearing a tux that must have about a 36 neck and he has a pretty young woman on each arm)
D'Argo: Aeryn, John- (he gives the bride a peck on the cheek - and a nose in the ear) Congratulations. John. (he shakes the grooms hand before stepping back and saying expansively-) Tonight - you are the second luckiest man on Earth. Know what I mean? (he brays obnoxiously - there's one at every wedding - their names are usually Ken or Rube or Billy - Aeryn and John look at each other and share a knowingly affectionate grin at their friends lack of finesse)
(cut back to reality aboard Moya where the crew tries to deal with the damage done to Moya, the ongoing threat from the angry Leviathan hanging around in the graveyard and Moya's desire to “bury” Talyn’s sparse remains. Pilot's in his Den while Rygel helps D'Argo effect repairs in the Command by holding a flashlight for him as he works. The scene shifts between them as they speak via comm)
Pilot: (sounding as if he's struggling between sympathy for the other shop and anger at her behavior) Though still groggy - Moya informs me that each of this Leviathans last 3 offspring were captured and enslaved by Peacekeeper hunters.
D'Argo: And she won't let Talyn be buried in the Sacred space because he's half Peacekeeper.
Pilot: This ship is quite irrational and as we've seen - prepared to enforce her edict.
Rygel: Can't you work this out with the other Pilot?
Pilot: He has yet to return my communication but I'm trying.
Rygel: (grousing at what he sees as Pilots trying too much and doing too little) That's certainly true. (he bumps something in the dark and then flinches and yelps as a fountain of sparks flare up into the Luxans face)
D'Argo: (to Rygel) Pay attention! (and to emphasize if point - he thwaps the Hynerian upside the head. Actually you can't see him do it because it's dark but we know the sound Rygel’s head makes when thwapped)
Rygel: OOF! Fahrbot!
(cut to the hangar bay where Jool has come to hold a flashlight for Aeryn who appears to be working on her Prowler instead of on Moya)
Jool: (carefully) When we get out of this, are you still gonna look for that ex-Peacekeeper unit?
Aeryn: Can you keep the light on where I'm working?
Jool: Sorry. (there's a brief pause and she continues softly) They assassinate people right?
Aeryn: The squad aims to stop terrorism and protect people. Didn't you learn anything on the Command Carrier? (what - between being attacked by guys with buzz saws on their arms and being caged?)
Jool: Want some advice?
Aeryn: (flatly, as if she knows what the advice will be) Look Jool. I'm not Crichton’s mate. I'm not tied to him in any way. (but she's wrong - and just flaunting her own insecurities)
Jool: In the short time I've known you - you've changed so much. Don't go backwards. (she smiles gently) Assassinating people? Seems like going backwards. (Aeryn doesn't want to hear it though and indicates a torn connection in her Prowlers wring)
Aeryn: Can you melt that?
Jool: With what? There's no power yet. (Aeryn responds by grabbing Jool’s thumb and bending it backwards. The redhead shrieks and the torn ends of the connection melt together. Aeryn - having proven that perhaps she hasn't changed as much as Jool thinks - lets her go)
Aeryn: (blandly) Thank you. (she continues her work leaving Jool to inspect her thumb and look hurt...)
(cut to the center chamber where John is doing some more wiring inside a circuit panel. Moya's lights glow fitfully as Chiana enters)
Chiana: Hey. (John doesn't even look up and there's along pause) Hammond-side's tight. Looks like Moya's gonna be okay.
John: (flatly) Yeah.
Chiana: (awkwardly) Yeah... Hey you know - you know what I said before about... about - not wanting you to come with me? (John glances briefly at her before continuing his work) That wasn't exactly right.
John: (dully - not in the mood) Pip - it's cool.
The scene flashes to John's Head where he continues to imagine all sorts of scenarios - from the pleasantly improbable to the alarmingly unwelcome. He's in what looks like a hotel room. Chiana is there - dressed in a fire engine red vinyl skirt and tights and a black midriff-baring top that's little more than a shrug sweater with a closed front. She seizes a wide, perforated white belt and flips it over her head and runs it across her shoulder blades as she turns around to greet John who's standing near the door and looking perplexed.
Chiana: Where ya been?
John: (annoyed) Not now. This is not right. (he walks away form her)
(cut back to reality where Chiana continues to try and make John feel better by explain her reasoning)
Chiana; (nervously) I would love you -to come with me. But you know I - I gotta find my brother an' - an' he's in this resistance thing and... and as if I'm gonna find him - hangin' out with someone who looks like... (she trails off)
John: (he looks at her and finishes her sentence with just a touch of bitterness) A - Peacekeeper? (tersely) It's cool. (he turns back to his work. Chiana wisely opts to change the subject)
Chiana: What're we gonna do if this crazy tralk doesn't let Moya into the burial grounds? (suddenly the old woman, who seems to like hanging around John - pipes up from the shadows)
OldWoman: Perhaps I can offer the benefit of my training?
Chiana: (irritated) What? How? As a chef?
OldWoman: (officiously) And doctor. Instructor. And - among many other disciplines - negotiator. (she's a regular Renaissance Hag)
Chiana: Listen Wrinkles - how 'bout you just stick to the chowder? (to John in a none-too low tone) You can deal with the old frellnik. (she leaves and John covers the circuit panel before standing up and turning towards the old woman. She raises a hand to her lips - and blows a light, sandy substance into his face. He claps a hand over his eyes and staggers back, yelling like he just tool a shot of pepper spray)
John: AAAHHH! DAMN! I can't see! GOD! (he blunders over to lean on a counter where he stands panting, doubled over and blinking his watering eyes. But the pain begins to pass and he slowly straightens up. The front of his shirt is dusted with her dope and as he stares into space, a little smile comes to his lips)
OldWoman: Go to the truth. It calls in your own tongue. (he scene begins to flash rapidly between imagined vignettes from John's Head and him and the old woman in the center chamber. As his fantasies play out, John mimics his movements in them in the reality of the dark room aboard Moya. He has a happy, stoned smile on his face. He imagines himself dancing with his bride, Aeryn, at a reception being held there in the center chamber) (the old woman whispers her directions to him) Ignore it - and risk - all. (John imagines him and Aeryn dancing while Rygel and other guests watch from a long wedding party table set on a dais) (in the center chamber - the old woman whispers intimately in his ear as he trips) Be kind... (he imagines himself with Aeryn at their wedding reception on Earth. Her eyes are closed as he wafts a piece of chocolate wedding under her nose. She opens her eyes and smiles radiantly at him) (in reality, the old woman whispers in his ear) (in his dream - the scene moves to the kitchen of the reception hall where chefs in white smocks and hats prepare the wedding feast. Suddenly gunfire erupts and splotches of blood appear on their pristine uniforms as they are cut down amid their platters of food) (back in the center chamber John's happy reverie gives way to horror)
John: NOOOO! (he rushes to take cover behind the center chambers cooking counter which is laden with food and whips out his gun to begin firing wildly at the imaginary assailants) GET DOWN! GET DOWN! (the old hag prudently takes cover and platters of Moya's foodstuffs are blown to bits by John's wild shooting. In his mind, the death scene of his wedding receptions kitchen staff plays again and again. But the alert has gone out for shots fired on Moya and D'Argo barrels into the room)
D'Argo: JOHN! (but the human can't see anything but the carnage in his mind and he turns his gun on the Luxan. Luckily he's too stoned to shoot straight and the shots go wild. But he doesn't stop and as he turns away to fend off more imaginary foes - D'Argo strikes out at him with his whip-like tongue. John goes down like a sack of busted bongs. In the sudden silence - D'Argo hurries to his friends side and glares at the old woman) What the frell happened to him?
OldWoman: (she hems and haws for a moment) N-nothing... Nothing. He'll be fine.
D'Argo: (suspiciously) What did you do?
OldWoman: (briskly) Perhaps a slight misjudgment of his weight. It won't occur again I'm certain.
D'Argo: So am I. (and with that - he gives her the welcome to Moya she deserves - a knuckle sandwich and down she goes like a sack of soggy weed. But before we have time to savor the moment - Pilot breaks in via comm)
Pilot: (cut to him in his Den as he speaks, sounding upset and sick) Aeryn! D'Argo! The Leviathan killed her own Pilot! Nutrient starvation! (the scene begins to shift between him, and Aeryn and Rygel on the Command)
Aeryn: Why would she do that?
Pilot: I'm not sure - but she threatens to attack again if Moya does not take Talyn’s remains and vacate the area.
Rygel: Never one to say I told you so, but - shall we go?
Aeryn: (uneasily) Well I can't believe I'm agreeing with Rygel but under the circumstances - with Moya injured...
Pilot: (the stubbornness of his ship creeps into his voice) Moya feels Talyn has earned the right to be buried in the Sacred Space and she'll not - yield.
(cut abruptly to John's Head. The scene takes place on Earth in a sunny restaurant whose tall windows are open to make the place al fresco. The dining room is empty but for Aeryn and John's father, Jack Crichton, who are sitting at one of the white-linen tablecloth tables. And John is there - standing behind a pillar and eavesdropping on their conversation)
Aeryn; Don't you ever get bored - living on the same planet, never going anywhere? And what about living in a house? It's too quiet - there's no engine noise.
Jack: (with a little chuckle) Well wait till summer - when the air conditioning kicks on.
Aeryn: (moody) John has this fantasy about us - having kids and dogs and a pool and - barbecues... (back in reality John is still laying unconscious in the center chamber from D’Argo’s sting, his wormhole equation-covered arms flung wide)
Jack: Must seem a strange culture.
Aeryn: Jack - I am - miserable here. And he just doesn't see it. I'm going to get married - end up like Betty Crocker. I just keep wondering when he's gonna wake up.
(cut back to reality in Moya's dark center chamber as John comes to. Aeryn is with him)
John: I'm awake. (he holsters his gun and gets shakily to his feet)
Aeryn: You all right?
John: Well between the witch and the Luxan... (Moya is jarred as if she and the other ship are still butting heads and kitchen pans rattle as they steady themselves) Still?
Aeryn: The other Leviathan killed her own Pilot and Moya won't back down.
John: Can Moya beat her?
Aeryn: Damage is too great. We could dodge for a while but eventually...
John: We have to cut and run. (as Aeryn replies there's more clattering of pots and pans - but not on account of Moya being jostled)
Aeryn: Pilot can't convince her and uh - Chiana and Rygel are trying. (from the tone of his last line - Pilot may not be trying very hard)
John: (dubiously) Sparky and Pip? (and with a final tinny rattle of kitchen utensils - the old woman manages to sit up - someone has wisely restrained her)
OldWoman: (eager to help out) Oh - if you untie me I shall volunteer again to mediate ev-even though... I-I know that - um...
John: (wearily to Aeryn) Who is that woman? \
And as Moya circles in the dark just outside the golden nebula of the Leviathan graveyard, the scene shifts to Chiana who's tiptoeing about with a flashlight in some twilit, vacant corner of the ship. She's better than John - who needed a DRD to communicate with Moya. She's better than Aeryn who had to do it from Pilots Den where Pilot could be the conduit between outsider and Moya. Chiana just walks around talking into the air - like praying. [Edited]
Chiana: Listen Moya - uhhh... (she lays her flashlight down and kneels on the floor) Everyone is uh... is really concerned... about your plan. I-I mean, even Aeryn thinks that - that maybe Talyn should be laid to rest someplace else. (there's distant mournful sigh from Moya - Pilot must've forgotten to tell her that part) I once, um... I once asked Zhaan... I once asked Zhaan - h-h-how she got along with you so well. [Edited] She-she-she said that uh... that the-the key - that the key was to be honest. ([Edited] Chiana laughs nervously) No matter what. (there's a very long pause while Chiana thinks about what she just said) Well Moya... this-this is what I think... (she trails off and then suddenly jumps to her feet and delivers her honest, scrappy opinion) I think that you should bury Talyn wherever you frelling WANNA BURY TALYN!! And I think that the - that the frelling tralk should-should get out of our frelling way. There. That's - what I think.
(cut back to John's Head - the scene has returned to the bedroom strewn with bits of feminine froufrou. Chiana's still in the red vinyl skirt and shrug top and playing with the wide white belt. John is standing as far from her as he can get. He seems confounded as he picks up a tiny fashion purse and looks at it with furrowed brow)
Chiana: (sultry) Hey Crichton - where ya been?
John: (he gestures at all the mall loot scattered about) What is all this?
Chiana: I - went - SHOPPING! (she laughs and tosses up an armload of scanty items. He catches a couple of them as they can slither off his head and wags them primly at her)
John: Shopping? No! No you don't have any money! (Chiana becomes solemn for a moment)
Chiana: Lifting. Shop - lifting. But look! (she grabs something off the bed that might be an animal mask and holds it up to her face) Look at these cool presents I bought the bridesmaids! You and Aeryn can give 'em to 'em! (she pokes at him with the mask and giggling - barks like a small dog. John is not amused and pushes her backwards onto the bed)
John: Sit! (she lies on her back and moans at his meanness as she raises her knees)
Chiana: Aaaww! Hey, I spent some time with the boys. (she stretches her legs straight up into the air and scissors them wide open. John holds up the little fashion purse to shield his virgin eyes while Chiana chants-) Think I found who the best man is...
John: (annoyed and embarrassed) W-why are you doing this? Why can't you just act like you always have? Fit in! (eh? John really IS in on drugs) W-why do you have to sleep with all of my friends?
Chiana: (groaning with childish frustration) Awww! This is such a repressed culture! (she slides off the bed and begins walking on her knees towards him and he swats at her with the little purse as he backs away)
John: Back! (and at that moment they're interrupted by a newcomer to the bedroom)
John: (sounding guilty) Dad!
Chiana: (sounding pleased) Dad? Hi! (forgetting about John - she skips into Jacks waiting arms. The older man looks like the a guy in a bad mid-life crisis. He has a pair of funky very dark sunglasses, a loud Hawaiian style shirt and a straw panama with the price tag hanging off it - gifts from Chiana no doubt. John gapes as his old man and Chiana swat spit)
John: (quietly aghast) Dad? (Jack looks up at him and Chiana turns around too - still in Jacks clutches which gives off an unpleasant “us and you“ vibe for poor John)
Jack: (rocking back and forth with his tart) Son - your mother has been gone for so long. (John raises his hand with the little purse in it to point at them - and hastily throws it down before resuming his finger pointing)
John: This is not right. THAT'S NOT - RIGHT! (Chiana and Jack unconcernedly return to their necking as D’Argo’s voice breaks into John's skeevey fantasy scenario)
(cut to D'Argo, Chiana and John in the midst of a discussion as they continue repairs on Moya's Command. They're talking about Chiana’s endorsement of Moya's unwillingness to back down before the crazy Leviathans craziness)
D'Argo: I do not agree John. I think she has a point.
Chiana: You see?
John: D'Argo you don't even know how to fly your ship. (what? He's flown it twice on life-saving missions. You can tongue him one for that D'Argo)
D'Argo: I do in theory. And it certainly has enough fire power to destroy a Leviathan.
John: (sulky) It's just not right.
Chiana: (annoyed) Why does it always have to be your plan?
John: It doesn't. But I don't think that Moya is gonna let us kill one of her own species. (but before they can call the Enterprise and get Wesley Crusher over to ask her - Pilot breaks in via comm)
Pilot: (urgently) I have some information - and it's worse than we thought. Apparently Moya is not the first to be attacked by this rogue Leviathan. (in the center chamber the nameless old crone dances in front of the windows flapping her wrists at the other Leviathan outside - who's on the move)
OldWoman: Go on - shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
Pilot: (continuing grimly) Three others are already dead - still more grievously injured! HANG ON! (the other Leviathan charges Moya and anyone not hanging on is thrown about by the ensuing collision which causes sparks to fly, but is less severe than the first one) Apologies - Moya is now responding defensively on her own! (Jool squeals and more sparks fly as Moya lurches violently again as Pilot urgently verbalizes Moya's wishes) Moya understands the grief of losing a child. However this females behavior is unacceptable! She asks for your help!
Chiana: (under her breath) Yes!
Aeryn: (speaking from the hangar bay) She has our backing no matter what.
Pilot: (sharing Moya's anger) Moya knows - which is why she feels comfortable making this request - (he pauses for a moment before speaking the words that would normally be unthinkable to a Leviathan and its Pilot) Kill - the - rogue - Leviathan! (Aeryn cocks her head but her face remains a blank but Chiana smiles with fierce pleasure)
Chiana: (under her breath) Yes! (back in the center chamber Rygel looks around and exclaims his approval of Moya's decisive moxie)
Rygel: All right old girl! (the old woman looks at him and he qualifies pointedly) Not - you. (back on the Command - D'Argo bolts for the exit in wholehearted support of Moya)
D'Argo: I'll prime my ship. (John just stands there and says dubiously)
John: Kill? (yeah you know - the thing you've done on a large scale at 2 Gammak projects and a shadow depository? Moya shudders violently again as she and the other leviathan spar. Pilot grunts as he and his ship take a blow)
Pilot: Yes Commander - before she kills US!
(cut to moments later as the crew mobilizes to carry out Moya's desire. The scene starts off with John and Jool are walking down one corridor)
John: So you'll be there?
Jool: (cooperative, but perplexed by his insistence) Yeah - but Chiana can handle it-
John: Just - be there. (they're staggered as Moya lurches) Chiana midwifed Talyn’s birth. She shouldn't have to bury him alone. (cut to Aeryn and D'Argo in another corridor. D'Argo frets while Aeryn cools)
Aeryn: I don't make errors.
D'Argo: That Leviathan can't be stationary but I'm sure it's not moving too fast.
Aeryn: I know.
D'Argo: It's not too far - but it's not too close either.
Aeryn: Do you want me to shoot the frelling thing myself? (D'Argo growls with annoyance as they reach the hangar bay at he same time John and Jool do. The redhead trails John and Aeryn in)
Jool: (with whiney desperation) Even though it's a disturbed creature you're still about to take a li-ife! (they ignore her and keep on going, so Jool stops D'Argo) Are you gonna be okay with that? (the impatient rumble he emits as he walks away indicates he is. John is waiting for him near the little Luxan ship)
John: (to Aeryn as she passes him) Be careful.
Aeryn: I don't have to fly with D'Argo.
D'Argo: (sourly as he enters his ship) I heard that!
Moya and the rogue Leviathan slide past each other in a wary pas de deux and beyond them the remains of dead and dying Leviathans can be seen drifting in the golden clouds of their Sacred Space. Aeryn’s Prowler streaks away from Moya followed by D'Argo and John in the Luxan fighter. The scene begins to shift between them and those left aboard Moya as they all speak via comm.
D'Argo: Now - do you remember everything I told you about flying the ship?
John: (monotone) Almost nothing.
D'Argo: (disgust) Excellent.
Aeryn: Pilot - we are in position.
Pilot: (with gritty determination) Moya - it is time Talyn was laid to rest - in the Sacred Place.
And with that - Moya comes abut in the black void so sharply that Jool and Chiana, who wait near Talyn’s pitiful remains in the hangar bay, are nearly thrown off their feet. D'Argo and John watch, awestruck, as she streaks past them at high port towards the nebula.
D'Argo: Whew! Okay - you ready?
Rygel: (calling from his position on Moya's Command) We're in! We're in! (he pauses and eyes the panoramic view of the glowing nebular clouds) What the yotz is so sacred about this?. (but before he can profane the moment any further - the other Leviathan comes highballing after Moya) All right - we've got that rogues attention She's now following us.
Aeryn: Yes I see her Rygel.
As Moya rockets for the bright core of the nebula the crazed ship gains on her - it is almost twice her size but otherwise identical to her. Aeryn and D'Argo bring their fighters in on dual intercept courses with the rogue.
D'Argo: (to his co-pilot, John) Look - keep it steady! If I don't get accurate resonant capture then we're all done for.
John: I thought you said this thing only responds to your DNA.
D'Argo: It does. That's why I covered all the controls in-
John: Eeww - that's - why I'm wearing gloves.
Aeryn: D'Argo, Crichton? This Leviathan is a lot larger than Moya. The best I'll be able to do is annoy her.
D'Argo: That's all right. Just keep her within range.
Rygel: We'll give this slijnot something to focus on. (in Moya's center chamber, a sheaf of long grasses is disappearing steadily into the old woman’s mouth as he masticates it with studious concentration)
Aeryn: Soon as I see Talyn’s remains I shall commence a firing run. Just waiting on a go-ahead from D'Argo.
(suddenly - the scene reverts to John's Head. The setting is a boardwalk fronting an urban marina. D'Argo, dressed in full Luxan regalia, is stomping along not too close to John who just looks like your average handsome Earther in his Ray-Bans and leather jacket)
John: (sagely) I understand, it's difficult.
D'Argo: (furious) It's not DIFFICULT!
John: Yes it is - everybody thinks you're a freak.
D'Argo: (in a tone that makes it clear he thinks John's statement is stupid) Everyone thinks I'm a freak. (he yells at a couple kids who are fishing over the marinas railing) HEY BOYS! HOW'RE THEY BITIN'?
FirstBoy: Terrible, Mr D'Argo.
SecondBoy: Can you help again?
D'Argo: See? They don't think I'm a freak. (he draws his Qualta and heads for the boys, tankas flying)
John: What the hell are you doin?
(cut back to the kvetchy reality of the Luxan fighter)
D'Argo: What do you think I'm doing?
John: I'm not entirely sure - but don't kill Aeryn.
(cut back to the Earth marina in John's Head as D'Argo and John pause near the boys)
D'Argo: (irritated) I'M NOT GOING TO KILL ANYONE! WHY ARE YOU SO DISAGREEABLE?
John: I'm not disagreeable!
D'Argo: You ARE being disagreeable!
John: I got things on my mind!
D'Argo: I am sorry that Aeryn is leaving you. But don't take it out on me.
FirstBoy: I heard she left you at the altar.
John: (to the kid) Shut up!
D'Argo: (to John) HEY!
(cut back to reality in D’Argo’s ship as it continues its approach on the rogue Leviathan)
John: (sullen) It's not just Aeryn. You're all leaving.
D'Argo: (reproachful) Whenever you thought you'd found a wormhole you fell over yourself to dive in - don't begrudge us our dreams.
John: (Pollyannaish) I don't. It's just a hell of a dream you got there D - killin' a man.
(cut to John's Head where the real conversation becomes muddled with John's fantasy now)
D'Argo: I don't wanna kill him - I just want revenge. (he walks away from the human - who follows him)
John: What do you think you're doin'?
(cut back to reality in the Luxan fighter)
D'Argo: (his tone is calm and quiet) You know when all of this is over John, I think you should head straight for Earth.
John: No - that's not an option. The Peacekeepers would follow. (cut to John's Head as he paces agitatedly on the boardwalk and rants) Yeah - I should NEVER have come here! I should never have come to Earth. I shoulda left you guys on Moya!
(cut back to reality on the Luxan fighter as they continue their heart-to-heart)
D'Argo: If it's such a simple choice why're you agonizing over it?
John: Because I'm an idiot.
(and in John's Head D'Argo gives voice to John's own insecurities and frustrations)
D'Argo: YEAH YOU ARE AN IDIOT! I'M AN IDIOT! WE'RE ALL IDIOTS AREN'T WE BOYS?
D'Argo: EVERYONE'S AN IDIOT!
(and back in the reality of D’Argo’s ship - an alarm begins to sound)
John: Speaking of idiots - that cannot be right. (the Luxan switches off the alarm and looks through his sighting mechanism)
D'Argo: Hah! (cut back to John's Head where he aims his Qualta into the marina and fires, sending up a plume of water) One shot! (the boys yell happily and run down the boat launch to the edge of the sea-green water with nets as the stunned bodies of a dozen fish rise to the surface and D'Argo gloats) And you said I'd never fit in here.
(cut back to reality on D’Argo’s ship as the conversation continues)
John: Never said that.
D'Argo: Yes you did.
John: No, I didn't.
D'Argo: I remember it - you did.
(cut back to the marina of John's Head as he and D'Argo stride away from each other)
John: (shouting to anyone who cares to listen) HE'S ARMED AND HE'S DANGEROUS!
(cut to reality - this time back on Moya. The old woman - having chewed her cud to whatever nasty consistency she was going for - violently expels it into a pot on her stove. Meanwhile - Talyn’s remains tumble from Moya into the path of the oncoming rogue Leviathan as they speed through the Sacred Space. The scene shifts to Chiana and Jool in the hangar bay. The redhead stands with her arms around the Nebari’s waist as Chiana struggles to eulogize the misbegotten little mutant Leviathan. The scene again begins to shift between the crew as they speak from their various locations)
Chiana: Talyn... (she struggles against tears) He uh... he-he was our protector... (in the center chamber the old woman watches thoughtfully as bits of Talyn drift past the windows) Mmm... our family... (Rygel interrupts her distraught mumbling from his position on the Command)
Rygel: May I say a few words? (but Chiana seems not to hear him)
Chiana: He uh... he was a lost soul... (Rygel clears his throat loudly) ...searching for... uh... (the Hynerian decides not to wait for an opening and takes over the sad task of eulogizing Moya's only child. He speaks in a tone that clearly says he's don this before)
Rygel: Talyn was special. A joy to his Mother and a credit to his species - both of them. With fondness we lay Talyn - offspring of Moya - to rest in his Sacred Ground. (as Stark would say - ahmet. In the hangar bay, Chiana collapses with grief and Jool eases her to the floor where they cling to each other for succor. Outside - the big rogue Leviathan alters her course towards Talyn’s drifting remains)
John: The rogue is making a run at the debris.
Pilot: (urgently) Moya pleads with you not to let her disperse Talyn’s remains!
Aeryn: Commencing attack. (and with that - she swoops her tiny Prowler across the rogue Leviathans path - strafing the big ships prow with pulse fire as she goes. The rogue angles up and bypasses Talyn’s debris)
John: Here she comes D'Argo - right where you want her.
Rygel: Good job Aeryn - she's veering away from Talyn and chasing you. (indeed she is - the huge ship follows her puny PK tormentor away from the Sacred Place and out towards open space)
D'Argo: All right - let's do it.
And do it he does. Having taken up a position directly in front of the oncoming rogue - he pulls a targeting visor over his eyes engages the weaponry of his tiny ship. A filmy blob of blueish-white energy begins to form around the outer hull of his craft. When it reaches its full charge - the blob is thrown out at the mad Leviathan. It hits the monstrous ship head-on and begins to creep backwards along her enormous body. John gapes and cringes just a little as he and D'Argo continue to speed on a collision course with the now blue-glowing rogue whose broad prow fills their forward ports - but instead of hitting her - they begin to pass right through her, stem to stern.
The blue light of D’Argo’s fire seems to irradiate the huge ship as they come on - rendering her body transparent - an x-ray image. And as the blue light of the terrible energy from D’Argo’s ship flickers across Aeryn’s blank face in her Prowler and the old woman’s wondrous face in Moya's center chamber - the rogue Leviathans skeleton glows briefly within a blue mist as the blast travels from her head to her tail - and then she disappears. Completely vaporized. With a weapon like this one has to wonder why wormholes are all so special... D'Argo seems a bit surprised and shaken as his little ship with the Very Big Bang exits the x-ray cavern it had been traveling through and arcs it away from the spot that the rogue Leviathan had occupied only seconds before. He exhales abruptly - John is just stunned and they don't look at each other.
John: (in a dead tone) Very effective. (Jool hails from the hangar bay floor where she and Chiana had no view of the awful destruction)
Jool: Didya get her?
Aeryn: (dully) She's gone. Completely.
Jool: (shaky with relief) Chi - they got her
Rygel: (almost unbelieving as he solemnly intones over all comms) You - know what this means? It means we're done. (on D’Argo’s ship - John listens numbly) Talyn rests where he belongs. Scorpius has no ship. (in her Prowler - Aeryn listens expressionlessly, dreading the coming emotional storm more than any weapon) We're all unhurt. Healthy - and - (his voice begins to rise with glee) - no one's trying to kill us! (he laughs giddily) It means, finally - we can go where we want to! We can go home! (he moans, almost tearfully joyous at he thought) Hooommme! (as he continues to babble, half-crying and half-chortling, Aeryn takes a deep breath - and John stares vacantly into space) We're going home! I'm going home...!
(cut to later. Everyone is back aboard Moya preparing to disperse. Except for John who thinks he can't go home because of the Peacekeepers - or at least that's his chosen excuse. He enters the center chamber where the old woman sits with her back to the door amid her bubbling pots)
John: Who are you old woman? (startled, the crone scrambles to her feet and faces him. She's still shackled to a chain attached to the ceiling - but her freedom of movement in the immediate vicinity of the stove is fairly unrestricted)
OldWoman: It doesn't matter who I am. (as he approaches, she moves warily to keep a counter between them at all times. She speaks with some modicum of honesty at last) But I know who you are. You made them come back and rescue our lifepod after the Command Carrier imploded. I'm no longer a prisoner because of you. So when the others got off - I stayed on Moya - to repay the debt.
John: By messin' with my mind.
OldWoman: (shocked, shocked at his doubts concerning the honorableness of her intentions Oooh nooo! (she then lapses back into her demented self as she makes for the pot of simmering slop she'd spat into earlier) No - I would never leave this on boil for so long. Would you like some before it- (but John unholsters his gun and cuts her nonsense off)
John: What did you do to me?
OldWoman: (becoming very still) We all lie. The lies that spew outward do much less damage than the ones that stay hidden. (John considers this, and then aims his gun at where the hags shackles are attached to the ceiling and shoots it free. He catches the broken chain as it falls and pulls her to him - where he uncuffs her and then sits heavily down)
John: (wearily) When I was a kid... I dreamed of outer space. And then I got here - and I dream of Earth. And lately... none of my dreams work.
OldWoman: Do you know why?
John: (he puffs ruefully) Tryin' to make it the way it was... (softly) The way it... never was. (the old woman leans close to him)
OldWoman: Did my herbs help you?
John: (dully) They stripped away the lies. But I ran from it. (exhausted, his eyes flutter shut) And I am... so - tired - of running. (he stands suddenly, eagerly, desperately, and looks at her) Show me again? (the old woman smiles and raises her hand to her deeply lined lips - and blows another sparkling dust storm into his face. As before, he cringes away and claps his hand over his stinging eyes. But he recovers quickly and straightens, staring unfocused into space as his face relaxes to a limp smile)
OldWoman: (whispering) Forward is the truth. (and once again the scene begins to shift between John's Head and the center chamber of Moya where the old woman tries to direct his trip as he mimics the movements of his hallucination. In his minds eye - he slips a wedding band onto Aeryn’s finger) It's the lies that restrain us... (in his dream, John escorts his bride onto the empty dance floor for their wedding waltz which is played as a soft and slow piano solo) (in the center chamber John sways to the music only he can hear) (in his minds eye he lifts Aeryn’s hand and she pirouettes before him) (in the center chamber he smiles dreamily as he holds his ink marked hand up and the old woman stands in Aeryn’s place) (in his Head, he and his bride melt together on the dance floor for a soft, sweet kiss) (in the center chamber he gazes into space as the old woman whispers in his ear) Be kind... (in the theatre of his mind - John and Aeryn linger in their gentle embrace) (and in the center chamber the old woman breathes into his ear) You will know... (in his vision, John's father steps up to him and Aeryn on the dance floor where they're now being joined by other couples as the achingly sweet piano waltz continues)
Jack: May I cut in son? (John beams at the strong, dignified figure of his father and yields the bride to him. As they spiral away. Chiana, dressed in a lovely turquoise blue dress with a matching flower in her hair, steps up to dance with John and D'Argo, with Cousin Susan in his arms, twirls by and shoots John a companionable smile as he goes)
Soon after the pretty waltz and its innocent romanticism is over and the crowd in the reception hall hoots and taps utensils against their crystal goblets to signal their approval as Aeryn and John stand for another long, kiss behind the wedding party table which sits on a dais at the front of the room. John's male family and friends, Pilot, Rygel, D'Argo and Jack sit to his right at the long table. Jool and Chiana sit to Aeryn’s left. Moya is represented as a golden effigy hovering over the wedding presents on the gift table. As John and Aeryn embrace to the happy laughter and cheers of their guests - Jack rises to make the wedding toast.
Jack: Everybody! (the guests quiet down and the newlyweds break their clinch and take their seats) Everybody - I want to propose a toast to my son - and my new daughter. Y'all know their incredible story - the odds they had to beat and the good fortune that brought 'em home safe and sound. So please join me in wishing the new Mr and Mrs Crichton all the bes-
And then it begins - Jacks proud speech is cut off by the sound of a pulse gun being fired. A little shower of sparks erupts around his head as he is hit and blood appears on his right temple. For an awful instant - the bride and groom continue to beam out at their guests, unaware of what has happened as Jack is thrown against the wall and slides down it behind them - dead. Then as John turns around and more shots are fired, he and Aeryn realize what has happened and pile off heir chairs for cover. (in reality back in the center chamber as both John and to old woman begin shouting)
OldWoman: (aghast) No -
John: GET DOWN! (in his minds eye the events taking place in the reception hall have slowed to a crawl as the group at the wedding party table duck or try to flee. There is no sound, only the terrible imagery and the dull subliminal throb of the gunshots that bring death to those hit)
OldWoman: (imploringly) No - see the truth! See truth! (but John's trip is out of control as he drops to the floor to take “cover”)
John: EVERYBODY RUN!
OldWoman: See truth! (and in John's Head the slow-motion nightmare goes on as black helmeted Peacekeeper soldiers make their way through the reception hall. The carnage is horrific as they fire again and again into the helpless guests. The only sound John hears is the slowed noise of their fire which is like the basso huffing of a mechanical monster. Pilot and Rygel are gunned down where they sit at the wedding party table. Caterers and guest try to hide under other tables as glasses and plates and flowers are blown off them) (in reality back in Moya's center chamber, the old woman kneels next to John. The third eye on her forehead is open and fluorescing magenta as she pleads urgently with him) See truth! See it!
But in John's Head the truth is only more and more PK soldiers with a red and black pitchfork insignia on their body armor, who continue their merciless attack the unarmed wedding celebrants. D'Argo and Chiana boldly spring up from hiding and come over the top of the wedding party table. John and Aeryn try a more discreet route as he lifts up the table skirt and peers out from beneath it. D'Argo valiantly charges their attackers and takes one out with his bare hands before he's cut down by a pulse blast to his chest. As the bride and groom attempt to crawl away, Chiana is killed by a blast to her belly. The model of Moya is blasted to smithereens among the heap of wedding gifts. Jool makes a desperate run for it but is shot in the back as she flees and goes down with a couple other guests. Even the wedding cake isn't safe from the evil, joy-sucking PKs - it disintegrates explosively under pulse fire and its sugary remains pelt the bowed backs of Aeryn and John as they try to stay low and escape. (back in the reality of Moya's center chamber, tears glisten in John's eyes as he watches this worst-case scenario unfold) And at the wedding reception in John's Head it only gets worse - but then he knew it would for it's a nightmare of his own making. Hand in hand - he and Aeryn rise to run, but they don't get far before Aeryn is stopped in tracks, staggered by a pulse blast to her torso. She and John look down in horror at the red blood staining her pretty wedding dress. (in the center chamber John wavers a bit and waits, his eyes unfocused and staring) In his minds eye Aeryn begins to sink to the floor. He holds her shoulders and looks around, his mouth forming a silent scream -“NOOO!” (in the center chamber he waits) At the reception hall, Aeryn’s mouth twists in a silent scream of agony as he lowers her to the floor. (and in the center chamber he waits) And at the wedding reception he bends over his dying bride and the awful silence of the scene is broken by their voices.
John: (gasping, desperate as he frantically touches her wound and looks into face) No! Aeryn! No baby - you're gonna be all right. You're gonna be all right...
Aeryn: (she smiles at him and gasps) Don't you worry about me - I've never felt better. (he smiles back, relieved - but then she shudders, grimaces - and dies)
John: (his voice breaks with hysteria) NO-OOO! (and the sobs come as he lays there next o her on the floor amid the shattered bodies and broken gifts of their happiest day, and moans softly) Oh...No... (the suddenly still room is entered now by none other than Scorpius himself. The half-Scarran picks his way through the debris and carnage on the floor to where John lays with his lost beloved and drops to one knee beside them)
Scorpius: Well then John. (the human raises his head a bit but right now he can barely register anything but Aeryn, dead in his arms) Tell me - what did you expect? (John's lips move but he has no words. And Scorpius averts his eyes, almost regretfully, as John lays his head back down, burying his face between Aeryn’s cheek and the floor)
(cut to soon after. John's trip is mercifully over although it's left him with images he'd have been better off without. He's still sitting on the floor of the center chamber with the old woman. Her third eye is still open but seems like a normal eye now - if normal is the right term for a third eye...)
John: (shaky) It's a nightmare.
OldWoman: What is?
Jon: My life. My dreams. Earth and my friends. I... I tried to merge the two. (ruefully) And they're incompatible.
OldWoman: Then choose one.
John: (with a disparaging snort at her simplistic solution) I... can't go to Earth. And my friends are all leaving.
OldWoman: You blame yourself.
John: Dog with two bones.
John: Dog - animal. It's a pet. He has this bone - it's the most important thing in the world, carries it everywhere he goes. And ah - one day he goes down to the water and he sees another dog with a bone, reflected on the surface. It's identical and he wants that bone too. So he opens his mouth to grab it - and his bone falls in the water and it disappears. It's gone. And he's left standing there... looking at himself. (John's cheeks are damp with tears of misery) And he has nothing.
OldWoman: Is this dog smart enough to learn?
John: (he looks away from her, sniffling and brushing at his nose) Nah it's too late.
OldWoman: It is never - (she reaches for him and turns his head around, forcing him to look at her) If the dog could have had only one bone - which would it have wanted?
(cut to later in the hangar bay. Aeryn grunts as she heaves a duffle packed with her belongings into the cockpit of the Prowler she flew off Scorpius' Command Carrier. John enters wearing his long coat and carrying his own small bag which he drops onto the floor as Aeryn climbs down and brushes past him on her way for another load)
John: I'm coming with you. (Aeryn misses a beat in her efficient departure preparations as he climbs up to look in the Prowlers cockpit)
Aeryn: (tonelessly) No. I'm sorry.
John: (he looks back at her) Well you're not leaving without me.
Aeryn: What do you want?
Aeryn: (in a slightly pleading tone, needing him to understand her feelings) I'm afraid it's not that easy for me. You see - you died. I watched that happen and yet you're still alive. (she raises her arms a little and lets them drop back helplessly against her sides) I have to go.
John: Then say good-bye.
Aeryn: We don't say good-byes.
John: We do this time. (he drops down from the Prowler to confront her eye to eye) You see - you leave and then you come back and I-I can't handle the in-between. Aeryn - Say good-bye. (her jaw sets at his challenge and so she obliges him as she walks past him to her ship)
Aeryn: Fine. Good-bye Crichton. (but he grabs her arm, forcing her to stop and turn back)
John: John! My name is John! “Good-bye John.“ To my face. (she angrily snatches her arm from his grasp and pushes him away)
Aeryn: Guarantee you won't - (she gives him another angry backwards shove) - die in my arms again!
John: Guarantee you won't die in mine! (he gives her a little shove back)
Aeryn: I can! (and she shoves HIM again) By leaving! (she turns on her heel and resumes her march for the Prowler. But he stops her again with a question that's really kind of an emotional low blow under the circumstances)
John: Do you love John Crichton? (he walks slowly up to her as she slowly turns around to face him again) Not him. Not me. John Crichton.
Aeryn: (very quietly) Yes. (he steps closer and leans close. She tosses her head, trying to avoid him but her effort lacks determination and their lips touch in a brief kiss)
John: Then what does that taste like?
Aeryn: (quietly) Yesterday.
John: (with a bitter little snort) Well nobody can compete with that. (he turns abruptly to leave) I am so much better dead.
Aeryn: (firmly, again trying to make him understand) I can't - do this - again!
John: (as he whirls back to face her) SHOOT! I CAN'T LET THE ONE THING I LOVE FLY AWAY IN A CRAPPY LITTLE SHIP! (Aeryn responds with wisdom spoken in a tremulous voice)
Aeryn: You once said it was as if the fates meant for us to be together.
John: (passionately) And I believe that.
Aeryn: Well then if it's true we will be together again. (trumped by his own romantic cliché, John casts about desperately to discredit it)
John: Running away is not fate - Aeryn. Running away is running away! (he frantically rummages through his pockets as Aeryn looks on, distressed) Fine if you want fate - here. (he produces a coin) I've-I've got fate. Fate. Here.
Aeryn: (confused) What?
John: Coin toss. (Aeryn sighs and walks over to him, annoyed and hurt)
Aeryn: What? Like that side up - you stay?
John: Absolutely. Fate. (chance, actually - and Aeryn knows the difference as he flips the coin into the air. She snatches it between her palms as it descends and throws it at his feet)
Aeryn: (with quiet anger) Just make a frelling wormhole and go home. (she turns to her Prowler)
John: There is - no - home! There is no wormhole! There's only yo- (he cuts himself off, knowing he's only making it worse. He rubs his face and tries again, pleading softly) Aeryn... Anywhere in the universe. You pick the planet.
Aeryn: (full of sorrow as she looks back at him) It's too late for that.
John: It's not too late-
Aeryn: (cutting him off) No you're not listening to me! It's too late for me!
John: (with quiet desperation) You do this - and we'll never see each other again. (she turns away again)
Aeryn: Do you love Aeryn Sun?
John: Beyond hope.
Aeryn: Then don't make me say good-bye and don't make me stay. (she stands very still)
If there was some magic words she was looking for - John doesn't know them. And after a long pause, he turns and begins to stride quickly from the room. She looks over her shoulder at his retreating back - and her own uncertainty is exposed. Frustrated, she spins around and kicks over a stack of nearby boxes before sitting down, exhausted. John stops and looks back. Their eyes meet. Slowly Aeryn rises and kicks the coin across the floor to him. He picks it up and they slowly advance to stand face to face one last time. Not a word is spoken as he sends the coin somersaulting into the air. They hold their breaths and watch with intense apprehension as it turns over and over - dreading all outcomes - and yet needing some resolution. Some definitive course of action be it fate or chance that will free them from their awful ambivalence.
Time passes. Presumably not much. The time for good-byes and farewells is past and the time for actual departures has come. Starry space is silent now as John sits alone in his module. Moya floats in the distance - and he remembers. In his minds eye he sees a laughing, tuxedoed D'Argo dancing at his never-to-be wedding reception as the Luxans voice resonates in his ears.
D'Argo: Anything positive I do with the rest of my life will be because of you. Take care my friend.
John sits in his module - and again he thinks of his fantasy wedding and Chiana dancing in her turquoise blue dress as her disembodied voice echoes in his mind.
Chiana: You better not forget me. You better not ever forget that I love you.
John sits in his lonely module and remembers Rygel at his dream nuptials. The Hynerian, in his little tux and royal red cloak smiles and raise a glass to him as his benevolent farewell caresses the humans ears.
Rygel: Of all the lesser species - I admit I've grown to like yours the best.
John doesn't look at the Prowler hanging in space just off the modules port side as he remembers Aeryn’s last words to him.
Aeryn: We're in the hands of fate now. We have to trust in that. Fly safe. (her Prowler seems to be only a few feet from the module and her face can be seen looking at him. But his eyes stay focused straight ahead as it fades to darkness on her murmured words) Good-bye John Crichton. (he is alone in his module - but not in the universe yet as Jool’s voice breaks in via comm, ending his lonely reverie)
Jool: (concerned, but perky) Crichton? Still alive? Out of fuel?
John: (dully) Uh... Yeah Jool. I'm... almost out of fuel. (cut briefly to Jool, she's sitting in Pilots Den on his Console) Pilot - I'm headin' back. (and in the module, as John makes to return to Moya - he's joined by his invisible friend who appears behind him in the co-pilots seat and proceeds to hold forth)
Scorpius/Harvey: The human subconscious is a fascinating place. Malleable. Permeable. Fallible.
John: (in a dull murmur) Harvey you gotta get your nose outta the dictionary.
Scorpius/Harvey: Guess what I found there John?
John: Go away. I don't feel like talkin' right now.
Scorpius/Harvey: I will honor your wishes John. (he lays a companionable hand on John's shoulder) However - having chosen our partnership above all else, your well-being is now irrevocably mine. (he gives the human a friendly pat and leans back amid much creaking of tight leather) My gift.
And with that - he brings something to the surface of John's consciousness. Something our hero must've missed, or forgotten thanks to the old woman’s herbs. Something she said. The scene shifts to John's memory of her lips close to his ear as she whispered-
OldWoman: Be forgiving... Be kind... Better angels... Her life... Her world... On her time... You will know... Aeryn... is... with child...
In his module - John is thunderstruck. He flashes for a moment of Aeryn’s smiling face from his dream wedding reception.
John: (talking softly into the empty air of his cockpit) Aeryn... Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you trust me? (and then he furiously shakes himself out of his lethargy and bellows) OLD WOMAN! (on Moya the unnamed passenger stands, her third eye open and fluorescing blue. John urgently hails Pilot) Pilot - patch me through to Aeryn.
Pilot: (flatly) She is beyond our range Commander.
John: (almost cutting Pilot off) Get a fix on her position we're goin' after her.
Jool: Hold on a microt!
John: DAMMIT JUST DO IT!
Jool: First we'll go to my-aah AAHH- (but she's cut off by the old woman who grabs a handful of her hair and yanks her backwards off her perch on Pilots Console)
OldWoman: (softly imperious) Obey his command Pilot. (but the Great Navigator narrows his eyes and tilts his chin up as he eyes this new one and doesn't move)
John: (pleading in an unusually humble tone) Pilot please... For the love of God - please. (back on Moya the old woman tries to spit out a mouthful of Jool’s hair and Pilot, who seems a bit unnerved by John's tone - relents)
Pilot: Uh... I shall approximate Officer Suns vector and initiate chase upon your retrieval. (and as John begins to bring his module about and faces back to Moya - a brilliant flash of light explodes behind the Leviathan. John blinks as he stares at Moya - silhouetted against an electric blue - wormhole. He can only watch, stunned, as Moya comes about, facing him, her tail to the spinning vortex as she tries to get away from its gravitational pull. The comms signal is badly broken up as Jool’s staticky screams are heard in the background of Pilots cries) COMMANDER! Stay clear! We're being drawn- (the signal is lost for a second and then Pilots last garbled cry is heard) Commander!
And with that - Moya is sucked tail first into the wormhole which immediately disappears in a brilliant flash of light that dwindles to a pinprick and is gone. John just sits there and stares. The sudden silence is thunderous. He looks around, disbelieving, out all the little windows of his module before saying to himself-
John: You have got to be kidding me.
And the module bobs there gently in the vast black vacuum of space. Alone.